Old Wives' Tales: FMA Edition
by chocolatexloverx16
Summary: Various characters shall try to uncover truths behind one hundred old wives' tales. First Chapter: Ed discovers just how much truth is behind the saying 'lightning never strikes the same place twice'.


_**A/N**: The idea struck me (quite like lightning, I'm sure), so I had to write this! I have this book, see, with one hundred (yes, 100) old wives' tales, and had the bright idea to help spread the truth via writing! Yay!_

_**Note**: These short stories will NOT be in any chronological order. For the most part, they'll stand by themselves just fine._

_**Warnings**: There is more than just a risk of electric shock, so be careful! Oh wait, that's for Ed, whoopsies… but seriously. Don't get struck kiddies. (I'm going to *try* and not be cracky here, so yeah.) Oh, and swearing and injuries._

_**Characters**: Ed, Al, Roy, Riza_

_**Disclaimer**__: I don't even own the book in front of me, let _alone_ FMA D:_

_**Old Wives' Tale #1: Lightning Never Strikes the Same Place Twice**_

"Why does the Bastard think I'm gonna crawl all over Central just because he wants me to?!" Ed growled.

Al sighed. "Well, we are on a mission to find an alchemist who's gone bad. And the Colonel has a possible lead for us, brother. You should be nicer to him, he's helping us you know."

"Yeah, whatever. I wish it could've waited until the storm cleared, my ports are killing me," he complained loudly, angrily punching a light post with his automail fist as he walked past.

Bad idea. Right as his fist made contact, a bolt of lightning struck the post, and traveled throughout the Fullmetal Alchemist's tiny frame. Al gasped in horror as Ed screamed in agony for a few seconds, then passed out from the pain.

"Brother! BROTHER!" was the last thing Ed heard before he succumbed to darkness.

.

The first thing he noticed when he opened his eyes was the smell of antiseptics. He groaned. "Why the hell am I in a hospital? I didn't even fight anybody this time!"

"Are you sure about that, Fullmetal? You sure look beat up to me!" Roy couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry, but who the hell are you?" Ed inquired blankly. _Stupid bastard, making fun of me, I'll show him!_

"Brother, you know him, that's the colonel!" Al worriedly reprimanded him. _Could he really not remember the colonel? If that's the case, then this means that he won't-_

"Who, Al? I don't know what you're talking about," Ed replied matter-of-factly.

Al sighed. _At least he remembers me… wait, am I the only one he remembers?_

Roy's eyes widened for a split second, then his usual smug expression took place. "You really don't remember me? I feel insulted!"

Ed internally rolled his eyes at the stupid, overdramatic colonel. On the outside, however, he kept a blank expression. He chanced a glance at the lieutenant, and noted her bored expression. "Hawkeye, who is this crazy bastard that thinks I know him?"

Roy frowned. "That's not funny, Fullmetal."

Riza sighed. "He did just get electrocuted, sir. Maybe he has amnesia." _Or maybe his grudge against you has been permanently etched into his brain._

"Hawkeye, I find that hard to believe. If anything, the lightning bolt made him shorter, not forgetful."

Ed tried not to blow a gasket at this, but it was futile to try. He fumed at the colonel. "I DID NOT SHRINK, YOU BASTARD!"

Al sighed, and restrained his little-I mean older-brother. "Brother, calm down. I thought you said you don't remember Colonel Mustang?"

"It wouldn't have mattered either way, Alphonse. Edward would have blown up like that anyway," Hawkeye informed him.

"Oh yeah, good point Lieutenant!" Al agreed.

"Hey!" Ed and Roy protested at once.

"What do you mean I would have done that anyway?!"

"What do you mean, it doesn't matter, Hawkeye?"

Riza looked back and forth between Ed's annoyed expression and Roy's shocked one. She felt the urge to shoot both of them, but somehow resisted. "I mean, Edward, that you would yell at anyone unfortunate enough to use diminutive words around you, and Colonel," she sighed, "it really wouldn't matter if he remembers you or not."

An extra loud boom resonated outside the window of Ed's hospital room.

"Geez, it's still storming out? I've had enough of these damn storms!" Ed grumbled loudly.

"Yeah, Brother, it hasn't stopped since, you know, you were hit earlier…" Al replied awkwardly.

Ed grimaced at the news. "Well, at least I don't have to worry about being hit again, after all, lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, you know!"

An ear-splitting crack was the first response to Ed's statement. Two seconds later, a bolt of lightning burst through the window, and came into contact with the first thing it found-Ed's hospital bed. Ed yelped in surprise and pain, then fell unconscious.

Roy was the first to recover out of the three. "Well… at least he's already in the hospital?"

Al and Riza just glared at him. Well, he assumed Al was glaring too; it was rather hard to tell.

.

In a matter of twenty minutes, Ed was stabilized after suffering his-second!-lightning strike. This was something the nurses considered a downright miracle, and looked at the boy as if he was magical or something.

Al was more than slightly relieved it was Ed getting this attention, instead of him. He was also relieved that Ed was not conscious for this yet.

Mustang was bored out of his mind. _If only Fullmetal would stop getting struck by lightning, then we could leave this damned hospital. I don't even want to imagine what this will do to my pile of unfinished paperwork…_

Hawkeye was not looking forward to motivating her Colonel to do his extra paperwork either.

Everybody was lost in thought (or unconscious), when the doors burst open, revealing none other than Alex Louis Armstrong.

And Maes Hughes.

"EDWARD ELRIC! WHEN I HEARD YOU WERE HIT BY LIGHTNING, I JUST HAD TO COME!" Armstrong shouted enthusiastically while ripping his shirt off, flexing and sparkling, and generally scarring his audience.

"Yo Ed! Heard the news, what bad luck eh?" Hughes added, joining Armstrong next to the hospital bed.

"Edward's not even conscious yet, could you two calm down?" Hawkeye deadpanned, her fingers twitching, itching for a gun right about now.

"HOW COULD I POSSIBLY CALM DOWN, WHEN A NOBLE STATE ALCHEMIST, SUCH AS HE, HAS BEEN STRUCK BY NATURE-!"

"Twice," Roy cut in.

"TWICE?! THAT IS VERY IMPRESSIVE! THIS IS WORTHY OF THE ARMSTRONG LINE, WHERE MEMBERS HAVE BEEN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FOR MANY GENERATIONS!" Armstrong continued flexing his muscles, evidence of the beautiful strength of the Armstrong family. And their pride.

All the commotion mercilessly tore Ed out of his unconscious state, and drug him into the current chaos infecting the room. Mainly, the shirtless, sparkling, excited Armstrong.

"What the hell is going on?" Ed growled, still very exhausted.

"Howdy there Ed, good to see you're awake now!" Hughes grinned, and patted Ed on the back.

Ed grimaced a bit from pain. "You seem excited about it, Hughes," he commented drily.

"Of course! Now that you've joined the living, you can look at my newest pictures! Aren't they wonderful?" Hughes gushed.

Everyone but Ed fled from the room, effectively trapping him.

Ed groaned. _I'd rather get hit by lightning…_

_**A/N**: Yay, finished the first one! :D Now… *ahem*_

_**Old Wives' Tale #1: Lightning Never Strikes the Same Place Twice- FALSE.** In fact, there once was a man (first name Roy XD) who was struck seven times. There are also a couple buildings that get their fair share of strikes x3_

_Did you like? There are ninety-nine left to write about ^^_

_Peace and love!_

_chocolatexloverx16_


End file.
